I'm over it.

I haven't updated this in awhile - and I really miss it.

And you know why? Its because I'm embarrassed of my emotions.

I'm embarrassed about being upset, or down&out, or just flat out bummed.

And when I'm happy or excited, I'm afraid someone will see this & think I'm bragging.

I'm going through a lot right now. But its something I'm trying not to advertise... 
to the point that holding everything in is close to making me explode.

I'm scared of wanting to write out how I feel because maybe someone will make fun of me for it.

I'm scared everyone will think I'm complaining, 
or that I'm being dramatic, 
or that its tacky to put how you really feel online 

- but screw that.

I'll say how I feel whenever & wherever. 

And right now I feel claustrophobic - like everything I do is for someone else.

But this is for me - it always has been.

  This is just how I'm feeling.

I'll just put it here.

I'd write in my journal to hide away but that just doesn't feel the same.