a million times this.

rejection junction, what in the hell is your function???

overload, AGAIN

This entire world is run by 

Sex. Money. & Insecurity.

AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

I REALLY CAN'T??!?!??

How can I even break this cycle? By myself?
I can't do it by myself!!!!!
Especially NOT when it all hurts this much!?!?!?

New Journal.

Forget you, Internet.

Nothing but anger.

My jaw hurts from clenching my teeth so hard.

People like this are why I struggle with openly expressing my faith to strangers.

Because this is the "Christian Example" that America has heard about - 

while the rest of us are mortified, disgusted,
and want NOTHING to do with people

who think this is love.

I can't keep my eyes from rolling.

I'd give these people the finger too.

for good.

Cause I wrote down these words 
in my permanent pen, 
and I'll sing them in case I forget.

I lived though it

Somewhere in my life,
I learned that 'expecting/preparing the worst' will keep you from getting hurt.
But all it really does is make you completely paranoid. Hurt. Is. Inevitable.
I had every reason to be protective of my heart, but I hate that part of life -  you CANNOT keep yourself from getting hurt. If you're never hurt - you're never really alive.

Sometimes the worst really does happen.
But sometimes - you're hurt because your friends NEED to see you damaged.
They need to see it before they can fully realize THEIR reality.
This was not about me.

I am so thankful I got hurt.
For once, I wasn't the one who needed to learn.

Thank you God, for your mysterious ways - and thank you for using me.
Sorry I yelled at you so much.

it is impossible to hate anyone in a poncho.

I was all like, sad and stuff...

And then I found this picture of John Mayer in a Mexican poncho,

 And I'm all like.... better.