runonsentences

I just really hope that my senior project sounds good and that I feel proud to give it away and that I can finish the packaging without spending a million dollars and that Easter break will come soon so my brain can recoup a little and that I can remember to get my oil changed by then or my Bertha may explode and that I have time to sell my guitar for my asking price and not have to cave out of desperation and end up practically give it away and that sweet Faye will listen to me for the next couple of afternoon/nights cause it scares me when she plays 'swim in the bathtub' and she won't come up for a whole minute and I have to yank her out & rinse the soap out of her eyes and I hope that my heart can calm about my flight from Paris to Sofia because I'm just already worried sick about it and I hope that my doctors appointment won't be anything too serious because if I have to get a colonoscopy I'll just freak & I hope that my -Eiffel tower out of silverware- project turns out cool cause if it doesn't I'll be real disappointed & I hope my Grandmommy & cousin have an AMAZING time in Italy & I hope that Nate Kerr doesn't hate me for turning in my paper late & I hope I pack well for Europe but not too well and I need to remember pray for the heart of the world and not for the heart of an American and I hope my computer makes it through the summer cause it really seems to be struggling & I also hope that my mind can stop circling the certain dramatic events of the last week  or any week from the last 4 months for that matter and how much headache & worry they have caused me because I just need it all to go away and because I know I am allowed to not be close to someone if I don't want to be and that not trusting someone isn't really something I can help but I can help when I open my mouth & when I don't and I hope that I can admit how I feel without being rude and & that I won't cave out of a non-existent feeling of 'you're not good enough for anything' and I hope I can remember my minor black key scales and harmonizations because right now my hands WILL NOT do what my brain is telling them to and I hope I go over to my friends house and play video games sometime soon because I've just missed him so much and maybe I'll some how get closure out of a couple hours of Captain & Mario Kart and I hope that I won't freak out in the next SGA meeting like I almost did last night and I hope I still look good in my JR SR dress cause I haven't tried it on in ages & I hope that Murdock doesn't feel like I hate him cause I don't I just wish he were a better teacher and I hope God doesn't smite me for that sip of hot chocolate I accidentally drank today and I hope I can actually fall asleep tonight for once. 

I just want to be trustworthy,

I just want to be confident,

I just want to feel needed,

I just want to live with integrity, 

I just want to feel pretty,

I just want to be "the leading lady of my own life, for God's sake!"

I beg of you - Get me to Europe.