today was eh

I've loved you for a whole year today. 

It's all such a shame, really. 

Self realization : I cope with emotional pain by sleeping too much.

5 months.

sittin' naked on my couch, watching Ellen & eating pizza.

Why? because America.

So, what step of the grief process is 

"Belting Katy Perry's 'Wide Awake' at the red light

while everyone watches you"????

Am I almost done now?

How much longer does this ILOVEYOU/IHATEYOU thing last?

A year ago today, 

you made me cry at the kitchen table in front of your family. 

And then, for some reason, I apologized to YOU, 

and spent the rest of the night
helping you with your homework,
(until you told me to stop helping because 
it was 'annoying how hard I was trying' ) 
& watching the movie YOU picked,

like a perfect, quiet, golf loving girlfriend.

What in the hell was wrong with me?

Hope you enjoy watching The Masters today. Alone.

And oh, God knows 

we had a time

seeing what grows 

on a shriveled vine.

Oh, I hate you some.

I hate you some, I love you some.

Oh, I love you when I forget about me.