I'm not that strong

I just need you to know - its all an act.

I am feeling sad, I am feeling lonely, and I am not totally okay all the time.

I laugh, I talk back, and I tell you its fine - but that isn't the whole truth.

Some moments I laugh it off because its all a game, and some moments I remember how I could really feel if given the chance and I get so frustrated I can't see straight. 

But what can I do? Cry to your face? Beg you?

I don't think it will change anything.

And I don't even know what change could mean?

 There are only so many times I can be brutally honest before I start to feel completely naked.

Acting like nothing bothers me is my only option if I still want you here.

And I really want you here.